Next step, watching porn movies, it's not that I'd never seen them, it's the most normal thing, but now I see them with another sense, it goes beyond seeing doing the same thing, it leads me to touch myself and just thinking that I am in front of him like an open book, letting him see that he deliberately learns what I like and what I want him to do to me, to tell him because he likes it when I ask him what I want him to make me feel, and to ask him to tell me his fantasies and want to make them come true. Usually this excitement is associated with men, but I think that as a woman, seeing that it causes an erection and the subsequent behavior of the man, with what he says to you is to go crazy, that happens to me, and the most important thing is to know that I am causing that sensation and that at the same time it excites me, it puts me to a thousand and it is wanting to feel and I don't care to consider it opportune but pleasurable.
Within my learning tasks, I also learned to use toys, not many because I really don't know how to use them alone, I knew a Sex Shop, and although I haven't bought many things, I have gone to browse to see what things there are to use, I have become a fan of buying erotic lingerie, I don't know if I wear it but just thinking that it is delicious for my man, that's enough for me, and I only imagine his gaze on me, devouring me, or that he is touching me with his soft and delicate hands because maybe he doesn't even want to take it off because he wants to penetrate me and not waste a second of the little time we can be together. There are also punishments, but I think the most appropriate word is penances, because in the end it is having more desire to explode once the penance is over, then the sensation of a super orgasm and the sweat of his body and mine mixing in such a pleasurable way that nothing and no one will take that moment from our minds. The limits are personal, because even though he calms my fantasies, and my anxiety, he also wants me to want more, to always be wanting him, and he achieves this because every day he incites me to seek new emotions and knowing that he feels loved, excited, desired and powerful fills me with pleasure and makes me long for him to say "I want you to".
